Justkim2007
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Just checking in
Hey babies,
I'm just checking in - and I hope you will too.
How are you?
xo
Kim
Last edited by Justkim2007, 10/28/2015, 1:32 pm
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10/28/2015, 10:59 am
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DT36
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Re: Just checking in
Checking in. I have been here a lot lately!
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10/28/2015, 1:24 pm
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Justkim2007
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Re: Just checking in
I see that you've been here, DT - and I think that is wonderful.
It's good to get support in the very early days, when everything is all churned up. So it's great that you're sticking close, love.
xo
Kim
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10/28/2015, 1:33 pm
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DT36
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Re: Just checking in
I have been in dangerous territory! Came very close to messaging several times this week. Is it like, a 3 week rule - after a few weeks my head clears and I don't feel as raw so I feel like it would be ok now to be like Hey what's up?
I didn't do anything, but came closer than I would like to be. Like for a moment it feels like the perfectly necessary and okay thing to do.
Next few days I won't be at my desk so much - so I think I will be better in that department.
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10/28/2015, 5:47 pm
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Clairbear
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Re: Just checking in
Yes, three weeks can be a tough time and especially if it goes beyond the longest you've ever gone NC. And it feels like this really must be it. And that can bring up all kinds of scary, uncomfortable feelings...and it means they are moving on with their lives. And they should be moving on, and you should be as well. Relationships end...people move on. And if we have difficulty letting go of a bad, going nowhere situation, figuring out why we can't is important.
Listen to me. Making contact WILL NOT work in your favor. You will give him the biggest ego boost and yours will plummet.
I have a new rule in life. If someone can't pick up the phone and call me, then I pick up five fingers (okay 4 fingers and a thumb) and wave goodbye.
Stay the course and these moments will come less frequently and with less intensity as time goes by.
Maybe you can check out some of those threads in our Healing Library. Gabrielle bumped a few really good ones recently...especially about letting go of a relationship that doesn't exist. And there's should be one on (from the baggagereclaim, but posted in our Library) on taking back a rejection...something like retracting the rejection. It's in there somewhere. And it resonants with almost all of us.
It's important that you use your NC time to start changing your perspective.
((hugs))
Clarity
--- "Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds."
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10/28/2015, 7:20 pm
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DT36
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Re: Just checking in
The healing library has some gems. I did read the one about letting go of the non-existent relationship.
I am shaking a bit today, really just itching to talk to him. I don't want to accept the ending but I am hanging in there. I have a big pit in my stomach. I am just doing what I do, taking care of my family and working out and coming here and white-knuckling it.
What you said, giving him a big boost and plummeting mine if I break NC - I Have to remember this. My head is at war with the overwhelming urge to reach out but also having the sense to see around the corner and be sure of how bad I will feel after. I am glad I at least can see that or have the awareness of the likely negative outcome. It means I haven't lost my head completely
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11/2/2015, 12:05 pm
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Clairbear
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Re: Just checking in
What would you do if he showed up at your door and said "I'm all yours, Baby!"?
--- "Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds."
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11/2/2015, 1:25 pm
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DT36
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Re: Just checking in
Interesting question. I wouldn't turn him away. I couldn't. Not if he was right there in front of me all on his own. Just being honest. But that would never happen. It will blizzard in the desert first. Although I said that about him coming back at all. And we did have an earthquake here last night. Stranger things have happened than JAM entering my life but the scenario of 'showing up' - never, in a million years. So, I can say, Yes, I'd throw my arms out and take him but that opportunity will never arise.
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11/2/2015, 4:57 pm
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whatwasithinking15
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Re: Just checking in
quote: Clairbear wrote:
What would you do if he showed up at your door and said "I'm all yours, Baby!"?
I would say sorry Charlie. He did too much to me in the end and I don't need him.
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2/17/2016, 11:46 pm
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