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4kate4 Profile
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just 4 paragraphs that hit so close to home


from : Carry On Warrior , the power of embracing your messy, beautiful life:

To my friend: on her First Sober Morning,
I have been where you are. I 've lived through this day. This day when you wake up terrified. WHen you open your eyes and it hits you: the jig is up. You lie paralyzed in bed and shake from the horrifying realization that life as you know it totally BLOWS. Even so, you cant get out of bed because the thing is you dont know how. You don't know how to live, how to interact, how to cope, how to function without a drink or atleast the hope of a future drink. You never learned. You dropped out before all the lessons. So who will teach you how to live?
Listen to me. You are shaking from withdrawal and fear and panic this morning, so you cannot see clearly. You think that this is the worst day of your life, but you are wrong. This is the best day of your life, my friend. Things, right now, are very, very good-better than they have ever been. Your angels are dancing. Because you have been offered freedom from the prison of Secrets. You have been offered the gift of crisis.
As Kathleen Norris reminds us, the Greek root of the word : crisis: is "to sift' as in to take out the excess and leave only what is important. That's what crisis do. They shake things up until we are forced to only hold on to what matters most. The rest falls away. And what matters most right now is that you are sober, so you will not worry about whether the real you will be brave or smart or funny or beautiful or responsible enough. Because the only thing that you have to be is sober. You owe the world absolutely nothing but sobriety. .......
Friend, we need you. The world has suffered while you've been hiding. You are already forgiven. You are loved. All there is left to do is step into your life. ....
This is what step into your life means: Get out of bed. Dont lie there and think- thinking is a kiss of death for us- just move. Take a shower. Sing in the shower. Make yourself sing. ... put on make up .... Read your daughter a story. Dont think of other things while you read, actually pay attention. ..

Sorry so long guys, but I really wanted to share that with you. I still have thoughts, its definitely beter, but sometimes it comes back for a few days.
This book is a must. I found so much in that single chapter that felt so familiar.
We're already forgiven. Keep pushing through guys!!!

4kate4

Last edited by 4kate4, 4/19/2016, 12:32 pm


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Gratitude turns everything into ENOUGH.
4/19/2016, 12:06 pm Link to this post Email 4kate4   PM 4kate4 Blog
 
RatherBeMe Profile
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Re: just 4 paragraphs that hit so close to home


Thanks Kate,

Really the truth. The luckiest day of your life and instead of embracing it, we fight it, ignore it, until we hit the bottom. Just like a drunk.

Unfortunately when most of us hit bottom, we take others with us. We take our spouses, our children, all of our friends and relatives with us on the journey. All come along for the ride after we are found out and so many lives are touched.

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We only miss what could have been.
I know I don't miss what really was.
4/19/2016, 9:47 pm Link to this post Email RatherBeMe   PM RatherBeMe Blog
 
Gabrielle55 Profile
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Re: just 4 paragraphs that hit so close to home


It's so true.affairs are addictions to a fantasy and remembering who you were or how to act outside the fantasy is terrible

Thankyou for posting
4/20/2016, 1:54 am Link to this post Email Gabrielle55   PM Gabrielle55 Blog
 
Stronger79 Profile
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Re: just 4 paragraphs that hit so close to home


I truly believe that MY A was an addiction to someone else. It was codependent behaviour. That concept is rooted in addiction. Many similarities between addiction and codependence.

What I love about this post is it is kind. It is telling her to be kind to herself. We all as humans make mistakes. We all make big or little mistakes and we all deserve to forgive ourselves. That is the only way I feel I am able to move forward. To own my mistake and forgive myself and move forward without guilt and fear.

I know not everyone had their affair for the same reason. For me there was a giant hole inside me that I looked for someone else to fill. But no one else could. It turns out it was me who had to fill it. By getting up and moving forward and taking the best care of myself that I could. Thanks for the post!

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The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow.
4/22/2016, 2:09 pm Link to this post Email Stronger79   PM Stronger79 Blog
 
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Re: just 4 paragraphs that hit so close to home


Stronger, I think your reply is right on the nose for all of us.

We should be looking at ourselves for the answers.

RBM


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We only miss what could have been.
I know I don't miss what really was.
4/23/2016, 11:03 am Link to this post Email RatherBeMe   PM RatherBeMe Blog
 


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